Letting life happen.


I've been too high strung lately.

Thinking that last sentence over, I suppose that it's to be expected. Three weeks ago my life endured a massive upheaval, and while it was exactly what I wanted to do, life changes such as that do not come without an adjustment period. An adjustment period which I am most definitely still in. I wouldn't change any of it for the world.

But, for the first time since I was sixteen years old, I'm unemployed. It's an odd feeling, and to not know where your next paycheque is coming from is not something that I'm used to, nor is it something that I'm a big fan of. All job hunting aside, I'm trying to keep myself busy. Which is actually quite difficult when you have little to no expendable income. Finding balances in that is something challenging and new to me. Not to say that I don't enjoy being home, but I'm in a new city, I want to do some exploring. But exploring comes with a cost in most instances.

I've decided over this past weekend to simply let life happen. It's too short to spend every waking moment worrying about the fact that I don't have a job. I'm in a position where not having a job isn't the worst thing in the world - my fella has employment and with that alone we're fine financially. But I really and truly dislike not being able to contribute. I realize that not everyone has that luxury, and I truly appreciate the situation that I'm in knowing that.

In the time that I've been in my new home, I've certainly been keeping busy, whether it be on my own, with my boyfriend, or with friends and family I have here in city. I have seen so many wonderful new things, even if the weather since I've arrived has been less than cooperative. It's been either too cold, too wet, too unpredictable. Which is fine, but it makes venturing out and exploring difficult. But I've managed to get out to a couple of restaurants, explore a couple of new shops, and spend an afternoon at the BC Maritime Museum. There was even a day when my fella and I went on an epic day long walk, just exploring parts of the city that we hadn't yet. I've been truly atrocious at taking photos, which I promise that I will get better at!

I'm looking forward to when the weather is cooperating more so that I can get outside. Today Victoria is expected to get 5 - 15 centimetres of snow, which is unheard of! Needless to say, I'm spending today indoors, taking care of some neglected housework. The weather is supposed to clear up tomorrow, so hopefully I can find my way outside at some point.

One year ago today, I returned home from my trip to New York, which I truly do consider the first days of the rest of my life. Taking chances and doing things that frightened me wasn't something that I often did, and that trip taught me that I could. It also taught me so much about myself. I don't think I'd be where I am (in so many ways) had I not taken that journey.

But for today, I am simply going to take it easy, allow myself the simply pleasures that I find in things like putting away laundry, doing some reading, and not trying to plan out my day too much. I do apologize for the sort of "stream of conciousness" of this entry - finding a particular topic to focus on when there were so many things I hadn't really put to paper in a few weeks was somewhat difficult. I promise to be less scatter brained in future entries!